Sharing my story about bullying

When I was a child my father worked for AT&T, we moved every one to two years. for his job and it was very hard to make and keep friends,once we became comfortable we would have to say "goodbye.'
 My family is multicultural, and my brother and I are both adopted.
 My adopted father was Filipino(he passed away in 1978) and so is my adopted brother. I remember times we would go to the grocery store in Sepulveda  California with my mother,my brother and I were about 2 and 7.Ladies would come up to my mother and say things like"Oh are you babysitting today?"  my mother would reply "No this is my son" the ladies would have some rude comment ,this made my mother very unhappy, we would end our shopping trips then and there.In the same city the phone would ring at night  grown adults calling making crude ethnic sounds on the phone..This was my first memory of bullying.
I couldn't understand why people would do such cruel things,we were taught that everyone was created equal and that you were loved and accepted for who you were.
Later as a child we lived in Massachusetts, my brother and I were older,we would play together sometimes on the playground,kids would tell me" that's not your brother,stop lying" He and I had a pact that we would defend and be there for each other no matter what anyone would say. Also in third grade I had a girl slap my face for not sharing my lunch with her,to make matters worse she said if  I told my mom I would get it for sure. The bad thing was my mother and her mother were friends and I would be dropped off at their house after school once in a while.. Kids would pick on me a lot because I had short hair,they would call me a boy and I remember crying quite often.I am forty eight and that still has an impact on me. That's why I want to help children get through the meanness and calm everyone else s fears. I am learning that talking about our experiences and sharing them with others brings us healing. 

Why therapy dogs in the classroom?

   I am about to push the issue of therapy dogs  being allowed in the classroom. I understand fully about fears of allergies and distractions but I feel the good weighs out the bad.
  Studies have been shown that by bringing dogs into the classroom it may help children to enhance the capacity to form close relationships with each other. That certain emotions bring with them a racing heart or neurological impulse that signals the brain.
 Think about a child who is fearful of speaking out loud, by simply petting a dog it may give him or her a sense of security and his or her classmates a feeling of joy.We may have excellent teachers,the perfect classroom settings but no one interviews each child to see if they are compatible.
 I know from personal experience when my daughter(who has mild aspergers) was in school in second grade if someone whispered while looking at her she got upset. "Were they talking about her? or just telling each other a funny joke?" Dogs can give us a sense of self worth and calmness.They alone know how the rules go in interacting with each other, there are no exceptions only order.
 They don't look at each other and say"oh look how dirty marshals face  is lets not play with him today." They go and lick Marshal's face, jump to his side and encourage him to play.
Why dogs in the classroom? why not? Anything to break the ice to encourage unity, the classroom can be like a big party fun but full of strangers Unless you are  an extrovert this is like a pit of sand and you will sink at any moment.
 I am about to start researching and writing a book about bullying and the use of therapy dogs to break the cycle. If you have a story about you or a family member that was bullied I would like to hear from you.
My email is jssrl123@msn.com  NO SPAM MAIL  please!  This is a serious venture and a chance for you to help  make a difference. Thank You 

Anxiety and why therapy dogs would be good in schools

    We share a common theme with dogs us humans, we are born into families and have a natural instinct to nurture and care  for each other.There are leaders in our families whether it be a male or female,one or both is the hunter and gatherer,the protector and the helper.Dogs are wired with these natural instincts and so they are natural companions.Am I saying all dogs could be companions? maybe if they have strong loving masters who treat them with love and respect,for this is the code of the dog world.
    We have discovered that dogs were domesticated in Belgium over 33,000 years ago long before any other animal.They are loyal,and accepting.They don't see race or difference,they don't set out to hurt someones feelings or make fun of their shortcomings.
    A child at school with anxiety is a target to be bullied,as in my child's case. The bully can sense the child's fears and make the situation worse. A dog can also sense fears and if trained in that particular area can help ease the situation by a nudge or affection. I have seen a young teenager with hair pulling tendencies helped by a therapy dog,each time she reached up to pull the dog would jump up and nudge her to pet him.Eventually she was able to grow her hair back.
   Dogs can also teach the bullies to respect others by just showing compassion, I wish to bring this into our schools ,to show that in the dog world there is no wish to harm or to pick on;but to love and nurture.
 I also wish to bring to light children who are exposed to goodness and love are then in return shown goodness and love. I wish for children to have therapy dogs they can bring to school to help fight their anxieties and overcome their fears
 .Do you remember your first day of school? remember how nervous you may have felt? making new friends? or meeting new teachers and classmates? for children with anxiety disorders this is their world everyday. Think about how you feel when you see a new puppy how it brings everyone together in conversation as well as smiles on each face. This is the gift I wish to bring each day to schools around the globe.

Healing the bullies hurts and hearts

      I want to touch on the ugly topic of bullying.
Why do children feel the need for power  when they reach a certain age? Is it because they have none at home? Granted in high school where my oldest son attended  puberty and popularity ruled. Not much different from when I attended high school and you were labeled by everyone as being either popular, the punks or the jocks.
 My son who was a sophomore and in a band didn't dress much different than his peers he chose to have long hair and  was verbally abused with sexual innuendos thrown across the lunchroom and within teachers ears.
 When this was brought to the attention of the principal and the counselor the boys were not confronted but instead, my son had to write all the humiliating words and actions down on a piece of paper for documentation. It was disgraceful that the boys who had done this had more power even in this situation then my son. They were brought to the office only after my son had written his complaint and as most if not every child accused of doing or saying something wrong,fully denied anything to do with the situation. This went one for three months,fighting with the school,trying to get someone to do something and my son getting more and more depressed.Mornings were difficult as he stayed in bed and told me he wasn't going to school,even though I pleaded with him for hours at a time.
 Finally,  on his 17th birthday, he told us he was not returning to school. How could we blame him after all went on,the school frowned on us,I could not believe how insensitive they were at school and how easy it was to turn a blind eye.
Today our son is a well-mannered and talented young man who  goes out of his way to help people. He is very successful in his music career and we are proud. He  got through some serious depression  with lots of love from his family and friends he has started healing.
 Our youngest  daughter who is now 12  started getting bullied in 2nd grade, same situation. The vice  principal was a tyrant and barely even acknowledged there was anything wrong. My child started losing weight, stopped eating and barely slept. Without going into details we pulled her out at the end of the year with some medical problems due to being bullied and having an  anxiety disorder, she is now in her fourth  year of being home schooled.
    Both my children have extremely large hearts and were taught to love others,they were merely in the wrong place at the wrong time. Our daughter was picked on verbally for being petite. Such nonsense.This must stop!
I work with animals and have owned a dog walking company in my area for over 12 years now. My goal is to try to bring dogs into the school to heal the riff between bullies and children. Whether they have special needs,ADHD,ADD,  are shy ,suffer from anxiety. Also to bring compassion into the schools to show bullies that in a dogs world everyone is treated with respect and love. Compassion needs to be taught and brought back into our schools. Many children who bully are lonely,feel unloved and helpless.Maybe there is no one to talk to about their problems or their day. Many parents have to work today to make ends meet and so family life is on the back burner. I desperately want to start a program and be involved in making a change to end the vicious cycle of bullying. 

Believing in uniqueness and difference

           I spent a lot of time as a child with my parents being comfortable and happy growing up in the picturesque parts of new England. I had tons of friends and loved school activities such as drama and chorus,school was hard for me as concentration levels and noise did not mix and my grades showed it..
.I felt secure as a child until my father passed away coming home to us after his father's funeral in 1978.
   My mom and I had never been close and being adopted at a young age we never really bonded. She never embraced my differences and sadly we spent a lot of times at odds.
  We always had my dad as the go between which I know now was not fair to him and may have caused many disagreements. I still miss his love and compassion and many times I find myself talking to him about things only he would understand.  

I now am a mother to four children two sons and an older daughter,three whom are grown and a nine year old precious daughter who has asbergers and ADHD.
When my other children were small they had some issues such as concentrating and forgetfulness, but I just thought it was over stimulation or tiredness.. Today many kids are diagnosed with disorders that may explain why and how they see things or respond differently then we do.
  I always stood by my kids and encouraged them to be their own persons and not to let society dictate who they would become.One is an artist, another is a musician and our oldest is working on a bachelors degree in sports marketing.
  I am not sure if the labels doctors are putting on children are fair or correct or if all the over stimulation of cell phones,computers and video games.are contributing to some issues.
 As for asbergers in my own situation, I believe taking a medication while I was pregnant to keep my pregnancy may have contributed to some issues or God just made my daughter uniquely different.I guide Maddy along in our daily lives so she is happy and enjoys her childhood. I don't put the pressures of society on her by home schooling for now,exposing her to christian friends and family who don't see the differences but embrace them. We have found a wonderful family of students and faculty at our local Artios Academy.Their motto is Art,Heart,and Smart.as well as outside activities that bring our daughter joy.

We are coming to the end of our first week of fourth grade

What a blessing to be able to freely home school this year, last year compared to doing virtual  education and boy was it like being in prep school. 
Third grade to me was fun and memorable but not to our daughter who was recently diagnosed with ADHD and asbergers. We have had quite a two year struggle with understanding her many wonderful qualities as well as quirks(being over stimulated and sensory sensitive) that can make a day quite interesting.
  Our first decision to home school was due to Maddy being made fun of in second grade and afraid to go to school because the adults as she put it were not helping at all.I don't remember children being so cruel and rough in judgement.
   I am thankful for the choice to home school,my husband was not a big fan when my older children were small,but because we are older and times have changed he has been very receptive.
  Getting back to our week,so far we are doing some multiplication reviews from last year as well as simple spelling and story writing. Our favorite thing so far is reading and reviewing the stories of Laura Ingalls Wilder,clearly she was home schooled and look how wonderful and adventurous her life was. My daughter can relate to Laura as a young girl and we have tried some of the cooking recipes such as butter making and biscuit cutting which resulted in some yummy eating.

I hope to inspire other mothers and fathers to not be afraid of home school to know most of all your children could benefit from finding out who they are and who they will become through love,guidance and perseverance using the life skills you will be teaching them.